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Monday, February 11, 2008

A Different World

For the past five months, my life had been totally different from what I've been accustomed. Gone were the days of early commute to work and the ten-hour schedule of working around the computer as what my job had required me to do. I miss the early morning traffic jam and the shoving and pushing around just to get a ride to the city. The family that I used to live with for the most part of my life is now thousand miles physically away from me. The hustle and bustle of Cebu City seems to be a strong contrast to the very laid back, serene and small town of Ozark in Arkansas.

When I get here, everything just seems to be so different. For most of it, I feel lonely, homesick and bored. I can't recall how many times I've cried because I remember the exact hour of the day when I sat in our couch and watched tagalog soap operas on tv, the conversations that I used to have with my mom, the convenience of going to the malls alone without having to learn how to drive, the pleasure of not having to plan and cook on what to eat for a particular meal, and you know what, even the occasional bickering that me and my youngest sister used to engage makes me miss my hometown so much.

Looking back, I thought that I was ready for these. But reality is more difficult now that I have to live with it. Don't get me wrong. I didn't regret the decision to be with the man that I so much love. I wouldn't want to change a thing. He's been so loving and supportive in all the adjustments that I have to make. He's always been my comfort and refuge everytime I feel like crying and quitting. My hubby does everything to make it easy for me to be here. From providing phone cards to call my family back home, books to read, OPM cds to listen to, fast internet connection, Filipino channel subscription, to being a super patient driving teacher and a lot more. Above all these, his love for me is unfailing and that's what makes me go on. I chose to stay and fight with the culture shock because I could never ever live without his love.

5 replies:

proudtobepinay said...

Hello ate Jhen. I feel what you feel.. That's why we told you before you came here that things are gonna be different. I am alone here too when Tim goes to work. But later on I managed to adjust myself and the lifestyle that I am used to when I was still in Pinas. In terms of driving, you can make it. I didn't really had a hard time driving at all, the only thing that made it hard for me is the fear. So ate Jhen I hope you are doing fine. Thanks for sharing. You take care.

Anna said...

Hello Jenn, thanks for passing by... HOw are you? Here's my link if you want to add me.
www.sheirma.com

jenn_US said...

Yeah, driving isnt so bad, 'Din. It's just that I have fear sometimes of going fast. But I'm doing better each time we practice. I've tried a few times driving in the highway and also a couple of times driving us to town. But let me tell you my parking sucks!!! Waaahhhh!!! But im working on it.

Rose said...

I can relate to what ur feeling jhen, i guess all of us do since the culture and almost everything is different from the things we grow up with, but no worries in due time you can adjust to it and you'l be more happier.. :)take care always!

jenn_US said...

youre right rose. struggling sa culture shock and adjustments pero its ok. its part of the learnign experience in life.

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